Stand by readers… get those gas masks on coz you’re guna need em! And if you’re eating your dinner and you’re squeamish, then I suggest you don’t read this!
I mean, I’ll be real … I have never been a great poo’er. In fact, I’m constipated most of the time, and if I was taking myself into Holland and Barrett to make a purchase, I would most certainly read the label first no matter what it is I may be buying.
Well, obviously not everyone’s the same and for one young girl Nicole McCourt, buying a random drink and flapjack from the well known shop, without reading the label was not the best choice. Well, certainly not the best choice for her bottom anyway!!! LOL!!
Nicole popped in to Holland & Barrett to buy her mum some Rochester Ginger. She then proceeded to buy herself a healthy snack and drink too! Oooohhh this is where it gets exciting. She was very proud of herself for choosing such ‘healthy’ options!
Little did she know – because she didn’t read the bloody label – the healthy drink and snack that she chose were both for people detoxing and certainly should not have been used at the same time as each other! The shop assistant even questioned Nicole when she purchased the products, but Nicole naively said it was fine and gobbled up the whole flapjack and drank the drink soon after.
I am sure you don’t need me to tell you what happened next!
Obvs I will anyway :-)
Whilst Nicole was having a leisurely mooch around Poundland, her stomach went into a mega fit of cramps and the only way forward was for her to rush out of the shop and find the nearest public toilet!! She text her ‘bestfriend’ whilst sitting on the loo and then braved a public audience by uploading the convo on to her facebook page ….. and the crowd just loved it! 7,500 likes and 22,318 shares …. Ooooohhhhh you ‘pooey’ little global trotter Nicole!
So she blew ……. Pegs at the ready public!! Don’t go anywhere near cubicle 2!! Someone’s asshole has been murdered. I repeat… someones asshole HAS BEEN MURDERED!
Well there was no chance of poor old Nicole letting a sly one slip out! It was like a scene from The Blitz coming out of her posterior. Poor thing. Oooooh the burn that must have commenced!
It was probably something a little bit like this …. picture the scene … an explosion…
The funniest part of the whole adventure was when a mum and her daughter walked in to use the public toilet and the smell coming from Nicole’s cubicle was so devastatingly awful that the little girl actually cried! LOL